Lakers Analysis Part 2

In the 2^nd part of our series let’s look at the different end of spectrum for Lakers, the so called scrap heap. People who might not make to the playing team except for the garbage minutes. People who are almost on un-guaranteed contracts playing of r next contact. People who are dangling between NBA and D-League. I might include few players who are injured and are almost as good as these players in terms of playing in a game.

Robert Sacre: The 60^th pick in the 2012 draft is known all over the league for his celebrations and cheering his team mates. Mike D Antoni is the legend of his offensive philosophy and equally infamous for his defensive ones. Last year Lakers were one of the absolute worst in the league defensively. Yet Mike D’Antoni said that Lakers have Sacre as the hardest working defensive big man. Now that’s a good thing to hear. Though the source is not so reliable especially when defense is the point in matter but it’s still good to be talked in superlatives while being a scrap in a team like Lakers. Sacre if he works on his skill can really be a very good backup center in league for a long time or may be a starting center for a low seeded team.

This year when you saw Sacre playing you will know instantly that he has really a very good 12-15 foot range. Approx. 50+% of his shots are coming off the mid-range. That’s a good thing to hear. But it’s a good thing if we assume if the player is equally good in close range. Strangely that’s not the case with Sacre. You expect a 7 footer to play close to the basket, get rebounds and play close, dunk and get putback points. Sacre doesn’t play that game. There are some games when he will play good defense but is lost in rebounds while some in which he will get good rebounds but is lost in defense. If he gets that thing corrected then he can be a as good as we think him to be. 

Sacre shares training room and locker with Jordan Hill and Ed Davies – one of the most premiere bigs in rebounding and offensive rebounds. If the rebounding bug gets to Sacre on a consistent basis it would be a huge plus. Since both Hill and Davis are 6’10’’ they know the mechanics of getting a rebound and have the smarts for it. Sacre’s 7 foot frame and his weight can help in getting more rebounds. Sacre has also shown he can be healthy for long time. He should develop more core body strength and fight it out with J-Hill and Ed for rebounds. This is where Boozer can help in his knowledge as we previously discussed. Also Sacre has shown he can defend. But he fouls at a very high rate. He plays approximately 15-20 mins. a game and he still gets 3-4 fouls which is huge. I assume they are the growing pains of a defensive bigs. Some good defensive centers in league today for e.g. bogut, de andre and others had this problem of being foul prone. It shows they were more aggressive. This aggression helps in getting the exposure to various situations. Either fouling when trying to block, or fouling when taking a charge, or fouling when giving help defense. So it’s good if Sacre sees lots of film and learn from his mistakes. It would also help if he sees film of how other defensive stalwarts like Howard or Marc Gasol or De Andre react in similar situations. If he develops this sense of how hard to go for blocks, when and how to go for help defense, how to take charge then he can really be a good defensive presence. Sacre should grab at least 8 boards per game to help team mates. Lastly on offensive side Sacre has shown that he is a good screen setter. There is no statistic to measure that thing but he passes the eye test. Sacre should consider Tyson Chandler as his role model in this aspect. Like Tyson he should only focus on setting screens, make weak side offensive movements, go for lob to dunk, go for offensive rebounds and put backs, be a threat from mid-range to pull other bigs out of paint to provide driveways and passing ways to guards.

Ryan Kelly: If you can get appreciation from Mike Krzyzewski saying that you are one of the best bigs in the draft class then you surely have talent in your pocket. Ryan Kelly has that. Sadly he is not able to use it till now. With injury riddled seasons in his first 2 years in league it’s difficult to make case for you being in NBA. Couple that with the fact that you have negligible presence on rebounds and defense, it’s a recipe for disaster. Having said this, Kelly is one of those bigs who if can work on his strengths and go to Spanish league he can become an offensive juggernaut. It may be blasphemy but if Kelly lives to his promise, I can see another Nikola Mirotic in him at least speaking about the offensive repertoire.

Kelly needs time to develop. He is physically fragile and there are many aspects of his game which needs lots of development and practice and repetitions. Sadly hard work and weak body don’t go hand in hand. This makes me say that Lakers cannot be the team who can offer that opportunity to Kelly. However Lakers can choose to exercise the option on Kelly, let him play in D-League or overseas and bring back 2 years later as an offensive spark off the bench, it would be a great addition to the whole team. Let me review about his game in a similar standpoint.

Kelly is not one of those hulky bigs who can rebound or defense. He is a specialist. And that means your competition will be specialist too when you are on the court. It now means that he has to be elite in what he does if he wants to stand chance to be a rotation player in this league. Kelly should focus in getting his core and legs healthy for the next season. It should not matter if he gets bulky but he should at least have lean and mean body like what Garnett had in his prime, slim but tough. Kelly should focus only on his 3 pt shooting. He is already very good there but he should add more aspects to his 3 pt shooting. What that means is he should do more practice in shooting off the dribble with right leg, shooting off the dribble with left leg, catch and shoot with catching front, catch and shoot with catching left, so on and so forth. Running across the court left to right and shoot and vice versa. He should be absolute beast in his 3pt shooting. He should get lateral speed to defend opposite stretch 4s on the perimeter. He should see films of nowitzki on how he defends his assignment on perimeter. He should see some films of how Dirk fakes on 3 attempt dribble once and catch and shoot from the elbows. He should copy 1 more step from Dirk, if Kelly takes the ball on the block and plays post, if he can face up and drive for lay-up or hook good, if not then this fade away flamingo jumper should be as deadly as Dirk himself. Again add more layers to it by shooting similar percentages when turning left and turning right. Kelly should get minimum of 5 boards in a match, 1 steal, 1 block and good perimeter defense, very very good offense. He can be a mystery puzzle for Lakers. But again he needs 1-2 years of seasoning before that.

Xavier Henry: Xavier Henry has turned many heads in his Lakers campaign in 2013 season. Sadly his injury bug caught up to him and he ended up missing half of the games. If we rule out the injury aspect of Xavier’s career, he might be getting a huge extension from some team right now. That’s not the case and we got this talented kid. With his positives we also inherited his injuries and he again in the list of scrap players to fight for next contract. Xavier has a very explosive game. He can penetrate and finish at the rim or at least get contact and get to free throw line. He also has a respectable jumper from 3 which makes him a decent threat. Problem is he has very less offensive game if you leave these 2 aspects. He has poor pull up jumper, poor mid-range game, poor passing, poor floater. He needs at least 1-2 years to develop at least 2 of those options. Again Lakers can’t provide him that time. Again Lakers would have to stash him outside or assign to D-league.

What Xavier has to do is nothing much than what Ryan Kelly has to do. Be Healthy first. Then concentrate on distributing when he slashes to rim. If he can avoid his tunnel vision when he drives and look for teammates while also having an option to drive or just pull up for a floater or pull up it will make him a very good offensive prospect. He is below average defender which makes me tend to say that Lakers are just keeping him and his partially guaranteed contract as a part of trade feeder or to waive him off if they want to absorb some salary later. Assuming Lakers want him to be a part of the puzzle he should be a Jodie Meeks type of player who doesn’t need to have balls to be effective. He should develop game around playing off ball where his only role is to set screens for Kobe or Lin and just catch and shoot for 3s or slash and make drives to basket after setting screens for pick and roll. Also not to mention he has to develop his defensive side of game. Since he doesn’t have defensive intellect and the physical tools to be a lockdown defender he has to lots of film study to be effective.

Ronnie Price: Ronnie price is everything Lakers wanted from a point guard at the fag end of the free agency at such a low price. He is veteran. He is good in defense. He applies pressure. He has a decent 3pt shot. He can run offense. That’s more than what you can ask from a 9 yr veteran point guard who was unemployed till late September in a point guard dominated league. You should keep expectations low when evaluating such talent. Having said so let’s discuss what he brings to the table and what he can improve and what he can offer.

So Ronnie is good PG. He has decent handles. He can run an offense. He applies pressure on defensive end. But all of those things can be offset by he having lesser ability to create shots for himself and others, small height, decent penetration and 3pt shooting. This is a knock mainly on Ronnie’s physical attribute than his ability. Had he been a 6’4’’ guard he would be commanding 10mn$ per yr from teams. But with his size he has to forgo many advantages to opposing team PGs in offense and defense. We will take the examples of other small guys like nate robinson, allen Iverson, Isiah Thomas to judge Ronnie because they had the ability to improve other aspects of their game so drastically that their heights weren’t a factor. 

So Ronnie needs to develop a very very good 3 pt shooting. It’s his 3pt shooting which will open doors to other aspect of his game. If he shoot lights out from 3 means guards will pressure more on perimeter, which means he can just fake to shoot, let the defender jump and penetrate inside. Now with the penetration he has to have a good handles to penetrate to the basket or at least draw enough defenders to kick the ball outside. Chances of him finishing at the rim is very less because of the size differential which means to make the defenders honest in collapsing on him he should develop a good floater. I won’t expect too much from Ronnie but if he can develop a 5 foot floater and shoot 35+% from 3 he can be a la Tony Parker guy for the 2^nd unit. Another opportunity which waits for Ronnie is that Byron wants to run Princeton. Princeton offense doesn’t depend heavily on playmaking skills of a PG which will hide some of his deficiencies. If he understands and internalizes the nitty gritties of Princeton and can execute to a T, it might bring a new balance to the 2^nd unit scoring overall.

Wayne Ellington: Wayne was brought to the organization for his 3 pt shooting. Frankly speaking I don’t expect much from him except for this thing. He has a rather average offensive game. He has some fade ways some post play some iso play tricks in his bag but other than that I don’t have much expectations. Only way I can expect some stuffs from Wayne is in a situation where the Lakers find less number of offensive options. Nick Young is injured for a considerable time, Nash is out of season, Randle is out for season. This is one of those peculiar cases which makes me consider the above mentioned offensive tricks and in fact expect something out from him.

Wayne has to have his 3pt shooting hand hot always. And by always I mean every second he is on floor. He has been brought as a 3 pt specialist in a team which despised 3pt shooting in preseason and by the time 3^rd game rolled Coach Scott and Kobe accepted they should in fact take more 3s. This brings us to have unrealistic expectations from Wayne. He needs to keep his 3shooting white hot by practicing daily all the drills I mentioned for Ryan Kelly. All Wayne has to do is play off ball and play catch and shoot all game. He should use his average set of offensive game only when he finds a mismatch in defense or if he finds himself a separation from defense in spacing or timing. He should be one of those guys who sets screens and run all offer the floor to confuse defense and then pick a spot and just pop for a 3. If he can develop the exact game what we asked in previous sentence he can be a beta version of JJ Reddick for us and it might again be helpful in 2^nd unit scoring. May be Kobe can get some rest against weaker teams if Nick Young comes on 1^st unit SG and Wayne backs him up.

Steve Nash: Nash is a legend. I am lucky to be born in an era when Kobe and Nash played. This sentence is not because they both are Lakers but only because I saw impossible offense from Iso from Kobe and impossible team offense by Nash [though latest versions of San Antonio Spurs are becoming equally poetic as Nash’s Suns] The amount of offensive knowledge Nash has in his mind is more than all other Laker players and coaching staff sans Kobe Bean Bryant. Lakers aimed for the stars and fell flat on face in deep quick sand with the trade with Suns for Nash. We are still paying that price. But Nash understands what Lakers mean and how the organization takes care of its players and their family and values their relationship with them. Nash has expressed his decision that he will quit if he is traded coz he doesn’t want to move away from his family at 41 situated in California. Nash is known as the best team mate ever and the ultimate professional in basketball circles.

So what expectations do I have from Nash? Well Nash wasn’t able to help team in 2012-2015 era when he played. May be he can help team help in post 2015 era being an assistant coach or a player development coach. Lakers can either waive Nash or get a buyout from Nash as neither will help cap problems. If Nash retires only half of his salary gets off the books. They can get injured player exception of half his salary if they file for it, which they have. They can also do a trade and it will come off their books but I will write about it in different blog entry. So how does Nash help Lakers?

He should invest all his time to be fit. Not fit for game but just be able to walk and talk in life. I wish him all the luck and good life ahead. After a hall of fame career he surely deserves a good healthy happy life. Now he should focus on the PGs of Lakers for our future. Lin has strike a bond with Kobe and his work ethic along with Asian-American population in Los Angeles and Lakers presence in Asia, he might be a piece who can be retained by Lakers. Similarly Jordan Clarksson looks like a steal in 2^nd round. If Nash can help Lin develop in distribution and look out for his team mates without developing a tunnel vision while driving in, Lin can be unstoppable. Lin already is elite in finishing around the rim, he has very good 3pt range. If Lin develops this last piece of puzzle along with his recent flashes of a good floater Lin can carry forward Nash’s legacy of being elite point guard without being elite athlete himself. Jordan Clarkson can very well become the 1^st guard off the bench for a long time and can be a candidate for 6^th man awards. He is a combo guard and Lakers should develop him as a combo guard. He can’t handle ball as easily as PGs and don’t have the supreme offensive game as other SGs have. But the combination of his size, speed, handling and scoring can help in substituting for either guard spots from bench.

Nash can also help other team mates understand the timing and nitty gritties of a pick and roll game. He can teach them how to play off ball so that a PG is always in a position to kick the ball to them for shots. Ed Davies and Hill can get that timing and positioning and rolling tips from Nash, the person who steered Amare Studamare and Dirk Nowitzki in his prime. Also others like Ellington, Wesley Johnson, Young and Henry can learn how to position themselves on 3 pt line or to blast for a dunk when moving in transition or playing a fast game. Be it Princeton or Triangle it’s more or less just variations and complex combinations of setting screens and passing and shooting and getting free. So Nash can help others [non guards] develop the offensive side of games. He can really help in shooting forms, quick release. Nash never had fastest speed or the length or the bulk to overpower other guards, he was just the smartest who knew how to use angles and his body forms to get perfect shooting arc to be the best offensive guards of all times. He can teach those specific details to undersized Davis, Hill and Randle respectively.

Nash knowledge of shooting and passing and his philosophy of team basketball along with Princeton offense-which is spread out and involves all 5 players means if the players buy into the system and pick Nash’s brain Lakers can soon turn into another symphony just like Phil Jackson’s Triangle or 13-14 Spurs. Nash should be a huge part of Lakers in future to help bring championship back to Lakerland. Buss family needs to take this opportunity to lock him down as assistant coach. We already lost out on Shaw, Jackson, Fisher, Hollins, Blatt, Messina. Scott is a good coach and I won’t want to write him off, but those are clearly better choice considering the statistics.

LAKERS Analysis

So we have started with the regular season and we know about these Lakers so much more that we knew 1 month back. This training camp, preseason games and the first few games gives so much knowledge about these Lakers that we can start our analysis and start dissecting moves and speculate. That’s the reason why I would like to start my new series of analysis. This series of analysis would mostly be for Lakers but I would also be covering my thoughts on other teams.

Let’s start. Lets the get the obvious out. LAKERS ARE BUILT AROUND KOBE. So to create its ideal rotation, we will put Kobe at the focal point in Lakers offense and defense. I would like to mention our strategies in few key parameters like points, assists, rebounds, 3pt %, and offensive rebounds. But it will also include something intangible in defense, team chemistry, setting screens, hustle etc. Again I would be a realist Lakers fan but still be madly optimistic about our chances to win the title. And this is where I would like to bring my blog as a voice of reason which explains what can be done, how can we improve, what should we not do to bridge the gap between current reality and the title hopes. Also the magic number to reach playoffs bottom seed is 50 wins. Also in terms of ranking in western conference Lakers doesn’t fit in top10. Spurs, OKC, Rockets, Portland, Suns, Clippers, Warriors, Mavs, are better. Nuggets, Pelicans are somewhat better. This means we are almost destined to miss the playoffs.

Kobe is A+ star. But we also need to understand that Kobe is 36 yrs old now, that’s almost 80 yrs in basketball terms – the amount of running, training, injuries, banging up, jumps, changed directions are too much to cause lost athleticism in a players body. He may not run as fast, jump as high, quick as he wants. Kobe is extremely elite in his basketball knowledge, footwork and techniques. These are the years when Kobe should play extremely efficient 30 minutes per game and others should take the remaining load. Kobe can then push in playoffs and bring home the title.

To sum it all it means that even is Kobe is A+ elite star and the focus of offense and defense, he should not take all the load of offense and defense.

Defenses should be allowed to pick their poison between providing help defense or double-teaming on Kobe or provide good defense on other side. Offense should have the fear to not mess around Kobe even though they know he is slow and not explosive. And this is how we should play our game. Since these are initial days we will focus on each player one by one and tell what they should do so that they fit in a puzzle to win the title. Without further ado, let’s begin.

Jeremy Lin: Jeremy Lin is one of the most prized possessions of the remaining Lakers which we have. And I am not at all referring to Linsanity which he created. It is mainly because Kobe never had anyone of Lin’s caliber to accompany and share the offensive load. Kobe being old, he needs to keep pressure off his game as much as possible. And that would be possible either if Kobe can plays off the ball or if he has someone reliable to kick out for 3pt shot or if he can get some action and playmaking from weak side so that defense doesn’t collapse on him. With all due respect to Nash [2012-2014] and Fisher Lin is better than both of them in offense and defense. Kobe’s tutelage and experience will rub on Lin and he can be a solid starter by the end of the regular season.

Lin is very very good Pick and roll player. He has a very elite penetration game. In fact he has 3^rd highest scoring percentage in 5ft around the basket after Lebron and Durant if we don’t take into account the centers and power forwards. He has also a good eye to find open shooters. That’s good. But he has a tendency to be turnover prone. There are various types of turnovers, it may be due to poor ball handling or poor shot selection or poor decision making. Lin is better in all 3, where he lacks is his he seems lost in offense. He is born and brought up where he was the scoring point guard and led teams to winning. Linsanity was the time when knicks were bare thin in roster due to injury and had to rely on Lin- the D leaguer to take over games. Also he was playing in MDA point guard friendly system which padded his stats. But Lin has seen his share of bad days and he has evolved into better more mature player. Lin needs a system to work in, where there is clear cut 1^st option, if its taken out by defense a clear cut 2^nd option, then 3^rd option but there should also be enough freeway to make his own decision and exploit the mistakes made by defense.

This brings us to Princeton offense by Byron. Byron has spent 90+% of time of preseason training on defense. I think he should now focus on setting offensive sets and roles and responsibilities. Lin can be so much better in point guard oriented Princeton offense where Kidd, CP3 & Irving shined. His assist to turnover ratio will improve. He wont have to keep dribbling balls to think and make things happen by himself and if needed he can rely on Kobe to go and work his post game and be a spot up threat from beyond 3 pt line. Lin can be the next reclamation project under Byron Scott and a load sharer with Kobe. He is young and athletic and puts effort in defense. With all NBA defensive specialist mentor in Kobe and with the finer nuances which Kobe will share and with hard work and video study Lin can be a good smart defender and yet top 10 point guards in league in offense.

Carlos Boozer – Boozer is the 2^nd veteran which we have who will share playing time and load with Kobe. Expecting something out of Boozer in defense means we are too naive to the world of NBA. I won’t expect that. What I do expect out of him is be the good veteran presence in locker room. Be the ultimate professional and handle the Beta players in the group. We already have demanding personalities in Kobe and Byron. We have extremely self driven professionals in Nash and Randle. So it would really be helpful to have a person who is established in the game to do the balancing act of pushing themselves hard on floor yet be happy and cheerful in the locker room.

That’s just the personality of Boozer. Boozer has made his bread and butter by offense and that’s how he should contribute. When he is playing he should constantly make himself a threat, either as a mid range shooter or with his high post game. He is also a very good rebounder for his height. But he has to contribute most when he is training and not on floor playing. We have some really unpolished gems in Ed Davis , Ryan Kelly, Randle and Sacre. He should set his training camp along with Mark Madsen [Assistant Coach – development and big players] and get these people learn about developing a shooting range. He can certainly help them in getting a go-to move in the post. Make them do many repetitions and then also help them develop a counter to the go-to move.

I was almost tempted to say that Boozer should try to develop weak side defense or at least be a big body in paint so that others can focus better on their defensive assignment but then I remembered if Tom Thibeadeu can’t make him play defense then probably no point wasting time on that aspect. Boozer can be a high post presence. He can be a presence on the defensive rebounds while his counterpart center focuses on defense. I have no expectation from Boozer apart from big body that can keep his hands up and jump and provide 2^nd thoughts in penetrator’s mind. Then he should just turn back and fight and hustle for a rebound. Boozer has been known as a volume player and needs time and patience to let his game develop. I would recommend if he comes off the bench to provide scoring punch along with Nick Young and others.

Boozer is an undersized PF at 6’9. The fact that he has been an all-star on the basis of his scoring and rebounds shows that those 2 skills are very elite. It remains to be seen if he can get those stats because of his old age and reduced athleticism.. But it’s his knowledge which is important. He knows how to maneuver his ways around bigs and play close to baskets. He has that knowledge to choose his spots and pop once in a while with a mid-range jumper. He has developed strength and intellect to fight and rebound among the league’s bigs. It’s these qualities which should be valued. Lakers should not expect anything apart his knowledge sharing and experience sharing in Boozer’s stay here in Lakers. He is not worth enough to play another season at Lakers as it might hinder in growth of Randle and it will block money to sign other marquee signings. But if he can give those knowledge to Ed Davies, Randle, Ryan Kelly, Sacre and Jordan Hill, we can happily spend 3mn$ on him and give him stable 15 mins off bench for this season.

Why Politicians Don't Like Sri Sri

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar did not become famous because of his name. He took care of that long ago, by differentiating it from the already famous sitar player. He did not become famous because he had friends in high places. He did not have a headstart to reach where he is today. He started alone and all he did was share some of what he knew. You can argue that yoga, pranayam and meditation have always been known and there's nothing new in what he does. The bottom line is people liked what he had to offer and they kept coming to him. Like it or not, spirituality was not fashionable until Sri Sri.

Whatever it was that he did, he did it long enough and well enough to be known all over the world today. So far so good and things would have been fine if this was all it was. But the trouble is that he doesn't want to stop at that. He seems to want to be everywhere. It would've been fine if he had stuck to teaching breathing exercises, working in villages, reforming prisoners, teaching organic farming, planting trees etc. No problem. But when he wants to be active on political issues, mediate on issues he doesn't need to, voice opinions on matters that are not spiritual, well, that's a problem. Because then, he is encroaching, edging past people who had headstarts, who have the right surnames. And that is a serious breach of territory.

He can close his eyes today and put his finger on any city in India and gather lakhs of people there. Which politician today in India can do that? The strength of his popularity and connection with people, all these years, was visible only in the form of service projects like trauma relief. No matter where disaster strikes in the world, he is able to mobilize people and resources, even during the floods in Sindh last year. Good, more importantly, harmless.

But when that strength is moved from fringe issues, that affect a section of society, to core issues, that affect the bulk of the population, it starts shaking the seat of power. Suddenly, there is a fear that he may have political aspirations. Jesus, after all, was crucified on that very accusation. It starts showing up in remarks like "Swamiji, stick to spirituality, leave the politics to us." The condescension gives away that someone is rattled.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar embarked on a tour of Pakistan a few days ago. You don't agree with what he does, fine. You question his intentions, it's your right. But by any account, somebody as widely known as him, going from India on a peace mission to Pakistan is big news. Consider the ground work: He has managed to portray spirituality in a way that nobody finds it an infringement in a religiously orthodox atmosphere. His volunteers directed relief operations in a country where our government has no influence. He has been able to tap the significant but unexpressed sentiment - “Fine, whatever, let’s just be friends now”. He has created a demand for himself when nobody in Pakistan has a reason to welcome anything or anybody from India. The breakthrough is historic, at the very least. Nope, not to our media. Peace mission? Boring.

Our media likes to believe that people love watching them sit in their studios and argue over the day's developments in sophisticated vocabulary. These people reach millions of people on a daily basis. But they are so busy being full of themselves, that they fail to connect with common people. How many times have you heard anybody say anything nice about any of our news channels or newspapers? Nobody today has a kind word for the media and you have to say, they’ve worked very hard to get there.

Without any support from this media, Sri Sri connects with people on the ground, in millions. Why? He adds value to their life, in some way or the other. You can choose to remain skeptic, or unimpressed by what he says but you cannot deny that what he does requires extraordinary commitment. He may well be the most traveled human being in the world today, and since planes are still recent to our civilization, in all of history.

It was not easy going to Pakistan. Apart from those who regularly criticize him because they find him elementary, for this trip, he had to face opposition from the fundamentalists on both sides. "Who are you to interfere? Who asked you? Let the governments handle it." We have seen what the governments have achieved over the last 60 years. It is beyond them. This issue requires a large-heartedness impossible for politicians. Making policies or signing documents does not bring the hearts of people together.

People are very simple and they connect to his simplicity. What he is doing may not be sensational but it's solid. What is sensational is forgotten within days, what he is doing will be remembered much longer. This was an opportunity for our media to show some class. Skepticism is healthy, cynicism is not. Skepticism keeps windows open to find reality, cynicism closes them all and shuts you from reality. And the reality is that today, you cannot ignore Sri Sri. He IS everywhere.

These words from Mahatma Gandhi make a great quote, but nobody thought of them as a prophecy: First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.The sad part is that “they” are our own people.

If you liked the above, help me blow it all over social media.

This is not my creation. This post is from Mr Nakul and you can see original post and other great posts at http://dearnakul.blogspot.in

** THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP **

The complexity and difficulty of relationships make humans distinct from other species. The more advanced we are, the more we face the challenges of relationship. Animals have no problem with relationships. They don’t go for any counseling. Not do tribal societies have problems with relationships.

The urge to connect

There is a deep urge in every human to get connected. This urge set one to look for relationship. Once you have a relationship, you want it to last forever. When you say, or hear someone say,” I love you very much,” the typical response is, “ Will you love me forever?” we want that love to be for all time. This moment someone is in love with you or you are in love with someone, but that is not sufficient. Many also say,” I love you forever, for lifetimes, till my last breath.” The words may vary but we want the love to be forever. We are not satisfied that we have the love only right now.

Also we would like to know that the relationship is connected to the past. Often people say,” I’m sure we had such a deep connection from the past, maybe you are my soul mate.” We want the connection to be deep and we aspire for it to last for eternity. This very tendency in our relationship indicates something deeper. It shows the urge is coming not from a mental level but from some unknown corner that we have not fathomed.

So what if someone was related to you in the past? What is the need that they should be in your future? When things are nice and fine, you think your relationship has always been that way, you have always been in love. When things start to go wrong, even after many years, you think you must have been mistaken and you were never together in a past life. Why then do so many stay together for all those years? Just look at this. If our relationship is based on a personal need, it is not going to last very long. Once the need is fulfilled, on a physical level or emotional level, the mind looks for something else, somewhere else. If the relationship comes from the level of sharing, then it can last longer.

If you know how to row a boat, you can row any boat. If you don’t know how to row, changing the boat won’t help. Changing the relationship does not solve the issue of relationship. Sooner or later we will be in the same situation in any relationship. We have to look somewhere else. We have to look somewhere deep within us from where we start relating. 1^st of all what is our relationship to ourselves? Let us ponder on that. Who are you to yourself?

Repetition

Often we think,” Oh, I am single; I am so bored being by myself, I need a companion, I need a relationship.” If you are so bored by your own company how boring will you be for someone else? Two people bored with themselves get together and bore each other. Love and boredom have something in common. Repetition. If you go in repeating something again and again, you will get bored. When you are in love, you go on repeating the same thing. Lovers insists a thousand times, “ oh I love you so much, I love you so much, I love you so much, you are so beautiful.” Say it once, that’s enough! Lovers seem to have ‘lost it’. When you are in love, what you speak does not mean much at all. Many do not even know what they are speaking.

Often you will see in high schools or college rooms where someone is in love they write their names all over the place, books, walls, everywhere, a kind of graffiti. Often their rooms and home is not sufficient and then even go and write on trains, metros, and bus stop; repetition.

Spiritual practice is also a repetition. Having a rosary, chanting the name of God, doing something like this is a repetition. At first the repetition brings boredom in you. When you sustain that boredom, instead of just dropping it and running away, the spring of love gets opened. When you go and realize you are the source of the love, you are giving end and not the receiving end, only then can your relationship blossom.

Relationships change.

The nature of relationship always change. Here I am using the word relationship in a broader sense, in its true sense, in the relatedness. When you were a child, you had much love for your parents, friends, and toys and as you grew older the love from the toys and candy shifted onto other friends and from friends it shifted on again. When you became a parent, see how much love you have for your children, as compared to your love for your parents. Parents care several times more for their own children than for their parents, because their attention, their love, is shifted from the elders to the younger ones. A similar shift often happens in the relationship between husband and wife when a child comes.

When you are looking for security, love and comfort from your partner, you become weak, you are on the receiving end. When you are weak, then all the negative emotions come up in you, demands come up in you. Demands destroy love. If we just knew this one thing, we could save our love from getting rotten.

The common expression is “I fell in love”. I say don’t fall in love. Having a limited awareness of ourselves and a limited experience of love encapsulates us in a tiny, tight compartment where we start suffocating. We want freedom in life. Love can be suffocating. We want freedom in life. Love can be suffocating if there is no depth to it, and that is what we see today. Many people fall in love, and then they fall apart. We can’t even handle what we are asking for, what we desire, what we want, because we have never probed into the depth of our own psyche, our own mind, our own consciousness.

In love we want to merge in the other, we cannot bear the separateness. That is why lovers often want to know everything about the one whom they love. They cannot tolerate any secrets, because a secret means distance. Love cannot tolerate the distance.

Feelings change.

There are three aspects in relationship. One is the attraction; that is on physical level. The 2^nd aspect is love on the mental level. The 3^rd aspect is a deeper connection, or devotion, on the spiritual level. Our feelings and emotions change all the time. We feel good about something, and then a little later we feel bad about the same thing. What’s the big deal about our feeling? People often say, "Oh, follow your feelings." I tell you, never follow your feelings! You will be ruined if you follow your feelings, because feelings change all the time. We feel good and then bad about the same thing. Follow your commitments, your wisdom. You will be much better off.

Any student who goes to a medical college, the 1^st year or the 2^nd year feels very frustrated and wants to quit medicine and do something else. Often people feel like that then they take a long career or difficult studies. If they simply followed their feelings, they would not get into any profession because nothing can maintain charm for a long time. Often for those who are very sharp, nothing stays charming. That is one of the signs of intelligence. A person who is dull can go on with anything, but those who are more alert find everything seems to lose its charm very fast- except when the charm is coming from one’s very depth, the very core being. Then the mind is totally in the present moment and one has deep roots and a broad vision of life. Then every moment is full of charm, everything is beautiful in the world. That’s when one never gets bored with oneself.

That is the ultimate relationship, when you can relate to yourself one hundred percent. Then any face you look at, there is love, there is charm, there is beauty. Then you come from the space of contributing, “What can I do for you? How can I make your life better?” If each partner comes from this space “What can I do for you?” that becomes the ultimate relationship between two people.

We don’t have to sit and wait for some soul mate to come to us. Often people ask me,” When will I meet my soul mate?” you can dial up psychics who will say,”Oh your soul mate is coming.” Soul mate??? I tell you, you can never meet your soul mate unless you first meet your soul. If you haven’t met your own soul, how will you know your soul mate?

When we see who we are, we see that we are not our emotions, we are not our feelings, we are not or thoughts, we are not our concepts. Then who we are? This very inquiry creates an awakening within us and takes away the shackles of our conditioning. There is a great expectation in every relationship that the other person should change. We never think about how we should change instead of the other person. If we change first and develop such an awakened awareness, we create an atmosphere that brings change in the other person, however they are.

Respect

The urge in us not just for love but also for respect. The greatest fear in any relationship is of losing respect. Respect demands some distance. Love cannot tolerate distance. This is the basic conflict in relationships. When you are not centered and when you have no depth within you, when you are shallow, how can you gain respect? The more someone comes close to you, the move you fear they will come to know about your fears, your anxieties, and small-mindedness. This does result in a loss of respect, and once the respect is lost, the love loses its charm.

Have you taken some time for yourself to cleanse your system of negative emotions? Have you taken some time off to find your source? Have you inquired into where you have come up and where you will be going back? Don’t think you’ll be here forever. When someone dies we say, “Oh poor man dies, poor person. God has been so merciless.” We never fully grasp the fact that we are also going to go one day. In another fifty years or sixty years, none of us will be here.

Where will you go? Where did you come from? What is your relationship with this cosmos? What is your relationship with people around you? Pondering on this, understanding your emotions, your thoughts, your own body, your breath, your own beauty, you will come out of fear. Once the fear is out from life, respect will stay forever. Then the closer your partner comes to you, or anyone comes close to you, the more they will respect you. With the fear gone, keeping some distance essential.

Letting go of the fear is not just an idealistic thing,” okay, it’s nice to hear about this but it is not realistic.” No, it is realistic. Many can see this happening in their own lives. At first, from time to time, keep a little distance from whosoever is very close to you. At least take one week off every year to recharge your batteries, and take some time off regularly for your own space and go deep into yourself, dig deep.

Meditation is that process of dwelling deep into that area of yourself that is love. Meditation is not just sitting and having a boring thing to do or sitting and day dreaming or dozing off. You are an ocean; there is so much wealth deep inside you, so much beauty. You have so much love that you can offer, and your mind is so much more powerful. You can create the situation that you would like to have around you. Then the ultimate relationship is possible.

The ultimate relationship is beyond time, because you are timeless. Time and mind are synonymous. Time is nothing but the distance between two events, two happening. Love is not a happening, love is being. Love is not an act, it is existence. Love is not emotion; it is your very nature. Feelings change, thoughts change, ideas change, bodies undergo change all the time, but the thirst deep within us is for something that is not changing, something that is eternal, something that is always same. That is why we use these eternal phrases or expressions when we are in love. We want to feel this love forever because love takes you beyond time. When you are in love you don’t notice time, you feel it has only been five minutes when you might have spent five hours.

There is one thing you can begin doing today which will start your relationship flourishing immediately, and that is to come from a space of contributing, from a space of giving. Giving what? Giving what is needed; giving time, giving attention, giving help, giving money, giving whatever. Just living with an awareness of wanting to give, and keeping patient, will uplift the relationship. Then you can row any boat. (Of course there still can be times when the boat has a hole in it, so sometimes you do change the boat, but that is for an entirely different reason).

God

We also have our relationship with God. God is referred to in three persons. In the third person God is ‘he’ or ‘she’, in the second person God is ‘you’ and in the first person is ‘I’. People are most happy addressing God in the third person because that feels very safe, there is no relationship there at all. He exists somewhere in the clouds, in the heaven. He, she or God is somewhere else in the third person. This is the way you can escape from being in touch with the reality.

Seeing God in the person next to you, or seeing everyone around you as God, or just addressing God as ‘you’ is more difficult. How can I say ‘you’ are God? If we address God in the second person, we fear God may want to punish us. That is not safe. If I say ‘I’ am God, seeing God in the first person forget about it, because the moment I look into myself and see all the imperfection, how could I be God? We think this is not possible. Keeping God in the third person is safer, easier to grasp and conceptualize. We want to leave the perception the way it is. This is the amplitude people have.

If we see God only in the third person we are not connecting with the reality, there is no relationship with the divine. A relationship is what? Feeling no separation, I am you and you are me.  You are part of me, I am part of you. If someone who is part of you is insulted, you feel although you are insulted. If someone who is part of you is praised, you feel happy, as though you were praised. In the third person, how can this happen?

That’s why Jesus said,’ To go to my Father you have to go through me, there is no other way, because I am right in front of you.’ This is also what Buddha said and all the enlightened masters said, ‘If you have to go to God, you have to go through the Master.’ This is because a master is the second person. He is the link between the third person and the first person. Coming to the Master makes you realize there is no separation.

The divine is within you, you are God and God is in you. This realization can happen when the stress, tension, worries, and anxieties are all lifted off from the mind. The mind is the cover that is holding the divinity within us. Once that wrapping paper is unwrapped you find, ‘Oh, this beautiful gift is here within us.’ Our life is like having a Christmas package, a beautiful package, and living with the beautiful gift without ever opening it.

Suppose a set of gifts are bought and given to everyone, and they all say, ‘ Oh, what a beautiful gift,’ and they are holding the wrapping papers and satisfied just looking at the wrapping papers and satisfied just looking at the wrapping papers, but not going past the wrapping paper. The secret is that all the charm and joy you see in the world is just a wrapping paper, colorful and beautiful, with all glittery designs, but inside you is a real gift, the divinity itself. Seeing this you begin relating to yourself one hundred percent and begin seeing God in the first person. That is the ultimate relationship.